Dear Journal: The (Wall of) White Light 

This is part of the dear journal series where I reveal journal entries I’ve written (modified to make sense to readers).

March 13, 2024: I’d enrolled in a 4-week Reiki program that focused on doing energy work on the ancestral lines (our family trees). 

During a guided meditation our small group of 6 people placed our family trees in a circle on a table in front of us and we began sending divine healing energy to our own, and to each others, family trees. In other words, the lineage as far back as it goes. 

According to our instructor, when we reach a certain number of generations back we are all connected to each other. 

What this means is that we are ultimately working on the human family tree. 

During the meditation, I remember having the urge to genuinely connect with and know the Creator (God, Source). With sincerity I asked for that connection. 

When the meditation was over the instructor gave us a few minutes to write down anything we wanted to remember. Normally I’d be all about this, but this time it just didn’t matter. Nothing was really on my mind; I was just content.

The instructor asked what we’d like to share, and when it came to me I said exactly what I was feeling. I explained that every time I tried to look back on the meditation I saw a ball or wall (it was so big) of bright white light, and it just felt like nothing mattered. I also shared the forgiveness aspect that came through as that stood out. 

The instructor informed us that when we truly forgive that is what the experience is like. We don’t keep looking at a past situation, and dwell on it. When we try to look at it, it feels like it’s no longer important, like it doesn’t matter. We’ve moved on. 

On a side note: I’ve been attending hypnotherapy sessions and whenever we clear a discordant belief the memory surrounding that belief becomes noticeably less vivid, less sharp, and if I try to look at it in my mind, I just don’t care anymore—it’s no longer important.   

The feeling from that meditation was all-encompassing and an hour later when I was back at home, I was still feeling the effects. 

I continued to sense the white light, and all the cares I normally had just didn’t matter. I had thoughts like I have to do such and such, but at soon as I had the thought I let it go right away because it felt like it didn’t matter. Other worries crossed my mind, but as soon as the thoughts started to form they would unwind. I truly felt like everything was alright and nothing mattered. I took a shower and thought I should shave my legs, but right away felt like it didn’t matter. Then I just laughed. It felt so good to be in that blissful state. 

It made me think of all the accounts of near death experiences I’ve heard about, and how people say once they leave their bodies they experience a blissful state, and the details of their life on Earth no longer matter. 

Recently, my aunt, who I greatly love, transitioned from this life, and her early departure has been difficult to process. I believe what I was able to experience with the wall of light was a taste of what it must be like when we leave our physical body and are able to experience such bliss that none of our Earthly concerns matter anymore. This experience brought me comfort and I added it to my repertoire of what I believe happens after we transition from this life.

It definitily brought me a little more peace. 

As the days passed that blissful state began to wane. How I would love to be able to go back to that state at will. 

The good news is that since I’ve experienced it, and know what it feels like, I can replicate it to a certain degree, and continue to benefit from it. However, experiencing that state of bliss so profoundly without trying, without effort, is not quite the same. It’s an experience I’ll continue to remember and treasure. 

A gift I feel blessed to have received.